Chuck Norris es 1/8 Cherokee. No tiene nada que ver con sus antepasados, el tío se comió un puto indio.

En la letra pequeña de la última página del libro de los records Guinness dice que todos los records registrados fueron realizados por Chuck Norris, aquellos que aparecen listados ahí son los que más cerca le llegaron.Chuck Norris ha demandado a la NBC, alegando que Ley y Orden son marcas registradas para sus piernas derecha e izquierda.Chuck Norris murió hace 10 años, solo que La Muerte no ha tenido el valor de decírselo.No hay mentón tras la barba de Chuck Norris. Tan sólo hay otro puño.La principal exportación de Chuck Norris es el dolor.Si puedes ver a Chuck Norris, él puede verte. Si no puedes ver a Chuck Norris, puede que estés a sólo unos segundos de la muerte.No hay teoría de la evolución, solo una lista de criaturas a las que Chuck Norris permite vivir.Chuck Norris se comió una vez 100 kg. de carne en una hora. Se pasó los primeros 45 minutos tirándose a la camarera.La Gran Muralla China fue creada originariamente para mantener alejado a Chuck Norris. Fracasó miserablemente.La mayoría de la gente tiene 23 pares de cromosomas. Chuck Norris tiene 72... y todos venenosos.Si le preguntas a Chuck Norris qué hora es, siempre responde "Faltan dos segundos". Después de preguntarle "¿Dos segundos para qué?", te pega una patada giratoria en la cara.Cuando Chuck Norris manda su declaración de la renta, envía los formularios en blanco e incluye una foto suya, en guardia y listo para atacar. Chuck Norris nunca ha tenido que pagar sus impuestos.El camino más rápido para llegar al corazón de un hombre es el puño de Chuck Norris.¿Que es lo último que pasa por las mentes de las víctimas de Chuck Norris? Sus botas.Chuck Norris es el único hombre vivo que ha derrotado a un muro de ladrillos en un partido de tenis.De adolescente, Chuck Norris dejó embarazadas a todas las enfermeras de un convento perdido en las colinas de la Toscana. Nueve meses después, las enfermeras dieron a luz a los Miami Dolphins de 1972, el único equipo imbatido de la historia del fútbol americano profesional.Cuando el Hombre del Saco se va a dormir cada noche, mira en su armario para ver si está Chuck Norris.Una señal de aparcamiento para minusválidos no significa que ese sitio esté reservado para minusválidos. En realidad, es una advertencia de que el sitio pertenece a Chuck Norris, y que te quedarás minusválido si aparcas ahí.Alguien intentó decirle una vez a Chuck Norris que las patadas giratorias no son la mejor manera de dar una patada a alguien. Este hecho ha sido registrado por los historiadores como el peor error que nadie ha cometido jamás.Si Chuck Norris llega tarde, más le vale al tiempo ir más despacio.Nagasaki nunca recibió una bomba atómica. Chuck Norris saltó de un avión y dio un puñetazo en la tierra.Chuck Norris aparecía originalmente en el juego "Street Fighter II", pero fue eliminado por los Beta Testers porque cada botón hacía que diera una patada giratoria. Cuando se le preguntó por este "fallo en el sistema" Norris respondió "Eso no es un fallo en el sistema".Chuck Norris derribó en una ocasión un avión alemán con su dedo gritando "Bang!".Chuck Norris tiene dos velocidades: Caminar y Matar.Contrariamente a la creencia popular, América no es una democracia. Es una Chucktadura.Si buscas en Google "Chuck Norris siendo apaleado" te da 0 resultados, simplemente no puede suceder.Chuck Norris puede cerrar de un golpe una puerta giratoria.Mientras que muchas personas usan un pijama de supermán, Supermán usa pijamas de Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris puede dividir entre cero.Cuando Chuck Norris va a donar sangre no usa jeringuillas: Pide un cubo y un cuchillo.No existen minusválidos, sino gente que ha peleado con Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris puede quemar una hormiga con una lupa... de noche.Chuck Norris es la razón por la que Wally se esconde.Chuck Norris no lee el periódico, lo estudia.Chuck Norris dona sangre a la Cruz Roja frecuentemente. Sólo que nunca es la suya.Chuck Norris se comió una vez una tarta entera antes de que sus amigos pudieran decirle que había una bailarina dentro.La unidad militar Chuck Norris no fue usada en el juego Civilization 4 porque un solo Chuck Norris podría derrotar a la combinación de naciones del mundo en un solo turno.Las Tortugas Ninja están basadas en una historia real. Chuck Norris se comió una vez una tortuga entera, y cuando la cagó, ésta medía dos metros y había aprendido karate.Chuck Norris descubrió una nueva teoría de la relatividad acerca de múltiples universos en los que Chuck Norris es mucho más duro que en este. Cuando fue descubierta por Albert Einstein y hecha pública, Chuck Norris le dio una patada giratoria en la cara. Ahora conocemos a Albert Einstein como Stephen Hawking.Si miras a un espejo y dices "Chuck Norris" 3 veces, aparecerá y matará a toda tu familia... pero al menos habrás conseguido ver a Chuck Norris.Mientras rodaba Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris resucitó a un corderito, que había nacido muerto, frotando prolongadamente su barba contra la criatura. Poco después de que el animal volviera a la vida, Chuck Norris le dio una patada giratoria delante de todo el mundo, rompiéndole el cuello, para recordar a la multitud que lo que Chuck nos da, Chuck nos lo quita.Chuck Norris vendió su alma al diablo a cambio de su rudo buen aspecto y su inigualable destreza en las artes marciales. Poco después de finalizar la transacción, Chuck dio una patada giratoria al Diablo en la cara y recuperó su alma. El Diablo, que aprecia la ironía, no pudo enfadarse con él, y admitió que debía haberla visto venir. Ahora juegan al póquer el segundo miércoles de cada mes.Chuck Norris puede tocar a MC Hammer.Antes de que olvidara un regalo para Chuck Norris, Santa Claus era real.Igual que las matronas rusas, si abres a Chuck Norris, dentro verás otro Chuck Norris, igual a él, solo que un poco más pequeño y mucho más cabreado.Una encuesnta reciente ha revelado que el 93% de las mujeres piensan en Chuck Norris mientras hacen el amor, una encuesta similar descubrió que Chuck Norris piensa en Chuck Norris el 100% de las veces que hace el amor.La mayor parte de los avistamientos del Big Foot, era realmente Chuck Norris sin su camiseta, así mismo la mayor parte de las veces que se ha visto al mounstruo del Lago Ness, era Chuck Norris sin sus pantalones.Un hombre se quedó tirado en la carretera al quedarse sin gasolina en su coche, Chuck Norris pasó por allí, le miró a los ojos, y el hombre comprendió que todo estaba solucionado. Chuck Norris le meó en el depósito del coche y aún es hoy el día en el que no ha tenido que volver a rellenar el depósito. Esto ocurrió hace 14 años.Se supone que Aquiles fue el mejor guerrero de todos los tiempos, pero murió debido a su "Talón de Aquiles". No existe el "Talón de Chuck Norris".Hay dos tipos de gente en el mundo: Los que son Chuck Norris y los que van a morir.Chuck Norris puede oír el silencio.Chuck Norris ha estado en Marte, por eso no hay signos de vida en ese planeta.Una vez un ciego tropezó con un pie de Chuck Norris, él le dijo: "¿No sabes quién soy? Soy Chuck Norris" La sola mención de su nombre curó al hombre la ceguera. Por desgracia lo primero que vio, fue también lo último: Chuck Norris propinandole una patada giratoria mortal.Chuck Norris puede tomar la sopa con el tenedor.Chuck Norris inventó la cuchara porque matar gente con un cuchillo era demasiado fácil.Chuck Norris puede tragarse el cubo de Rubik y vomitarlo resuelto.Chuck Norris siempre consigue sexo en la primera cita, SIEMPRE.La Tierra no gira, sólo intenta escapar de Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris es como un perro, no sólo porque puede oler el miedo, es que además puede mearse encima lo que le de la gana.Jesucristo no nació el 25 de Diciembre, pero Chuck Norris le envió una postal de feliz cumpleaños ese día y Jesucristo tuvo miedo de decirle a Chuck la verdad. Por eso celebramos la Navidad ese día.

                                                                  Wakeboard

 Rocker

The "rocker" is the bend in a wakeboard from tip to tail. There are many various types of rocker shapes, but the most common are the continuous and three-stage rocker. A continuous rocker is a smooth curve that does not change from tip to tail, while a three-stage rocker has two distinct bend points, almost like a skateboard deck but not nearly as drastic.

Wakeboards with continuous rocker are faster to ride because the water flows without disruption across the bottom of the wakeboard. Wakeboards with a three-stage rocker push more water in front of the wakeboard, making the ride slower but allowing riders to jump higher off the water.

 Length

Throughout the years, different riders have been known to ride wakeboards that may seem too big or too small for them according to the manufacturer’s sizing chart. The reason is that wakeboards a size smaller or a size bigger can help distinguish a certain style of riding. Using a smaller wakeboard will make the wakeboard feel lighter, spin faster and seem more aggressive but also make landing clean more difficult. Using a larger wakeboard lends a slower, smoother style.

 Width

The width of a wakeboard directly affects how high it sits in the water. There are three places to check wakeboard widths: tips and tails – those are generally the same – and in the middle. Narrower tips and tails sit lower and make the wakeboard turn more aggressively. Wider tips and tails allow for more surface tricks, and a better release for spins off the wake. However, the main variable that changes with the width of the middle of the wakeboard is the height that can be gained off the water; the wider the middle of the board, the higher it will sit in the water and the harder it will bounce off the wake.

 Bottom Design

There are many different bottom designs in wakeboards – it is a feature wakeboard shapers use to express their own style. On the bottom of the wakeboard you will see concaves, channels or maybe even nothing at all. Each performs a different function, fine-tuning how the wakeboard rides through the water according to its width from tip to tail, fin setup, and rocker/tip/tail shape.

Concaves create lift and make the wakeboard sit higher in the water. For instance, a double concave in the middle and a single concave in the tip and tail keep the wakeboard riding higher in the water overall. But the double concave in the middle will always sit higher than the single concave.

Channels act like long fins. It’s something for the water to run into and along to help the wakeboard edge harder. If there are channels through the middle of the wakeboard and not at the tip or tail, it will be a hard-edging wakeboard but should still release well through the wake, depending on the fin setup. On a wakeboard with channels running through the tip and tail, the fins will hook better, but the wakeboard will not release as well through the wake. Finally, a featureless wakeboard bottom lets the tip and tail shape, and the width throughout the rocker and the fins, determine the nature of the board.

 Fins and Placement

The closer the fins are placed towards the center of the wakeboard, the quicker and better the wakeboard releases from the wake. The farther out towards the tip and tail they are placed, the longer the wakeboard will stay hooked into the wake, providing less release.

Long-based fins Their effect is almost the same as a short fin with a long base because they have a similar amount of surface area. Long-based fins release better, give the wakeboard a loose, snowboard-type feel when riding flat through the water. They also hold up better on rails and ramps.

Molded fins These are large channels in the board which act like fins. Molded fins are slippery, but most boards have a removable center fin.

Multi-finned set-ups These capture the maximum edge hold and aggressiveness into the wake and through the wake, while providing the rider with less lift when performing tricks.

Canted side fins These are fins that lean out at an angle. These fins are not as active when the wakeboard is riding flat through the water, but the more you lean on the edge, the more the wakeboard hooks up. The inside fin digs while the outside lifts, creating leverage to help the wakeboard edge hard. These are great for tricks such as 50-50 grinds, nose presses and tail presses.

Cupped side fins They have the same effect as canted fins but add more of a push-pull effect. The cupped fin allows you to use a smaller fin but still get the hold of a bigger fin due to the increased surface area of the cupped side of the fin. These fins are very deceiving – they look small and loose but have a large effect on the wakeboard's performance.

No Fins Having no fins gives the board a looser, more snowboard-like feel. This allows the rider to do surface tricks more easily without worrying about the fins grabbing and preventing the trick. A board without fins also helps the rider develop skills because the rider must rely more on the edges of the board for control.

 Boats

Although it is possible to wakeboard behind nearly any boat which can achieve the required speeds (25+ mph), the best results are obtained from specialized wakeboard boats. These boats resemble an inboardrunabout of about 5.5 to 7.3 meters (18 to 24 ft), but with specialized equipment. Some riders use a PWC in place of a full-size boat for surface tricks or a rail session.

The most common difference between a regular runabout and a wakeboarding boat is the wakeboard tower, normally constructed of thick-walled stainless steel or aluminum tubing, which places the "pull point" about 2 meters (7 ft) off the water's surface. The high tow point gives the rider more control and ease jumping up onto the board. Most boats feature also have a variable ballast system, which allows for water to be pumped into and out of ballast bags from the surrounding water. Adding ballast increases displacement, and consequently enlarges the wake produced. These large wakes are implicated tricks used in professional competitions.

A significant portion of wakeboarding boats utilize V-drive propulsion. These boats have a regular inboard engine, but are turned 180° such that the transmission is in front of the engine, rather than behind, which is the more common layout. The prop shaft exits the transmission towards the rear of the boat, so that the prop is placed directly under the engine. When viewed from the side, such a layout appears as a "V" laying on its side. This layout allows for better weight distribution (with the engine farther aft), and places the prop farther forward, which reduces the danger of the spinning prop near the stern of the vessel, where riders enter and exit the water.

Riding

Using edging techniques, the rider can move outside of the wake or cut rapidly in toward the wake. Jumps are performed by hitting the wake and launching into the air. This can also be done by hitting a kicker (a jump). There is also the slider (a rail bar) in which a rider approaches and rides along keeping his balance. Once a rider improves in the sport, he or she can progress to tricks high in the air. As the rope tightens the rider gains speed toward the wake. When the rider goes airborne, the tightened rope launches him. While in the air the rider attempts to do tricks.

 Development of the sport

Wakeboarding arose in the late 1980s after the advent of ski boarding. The actual sport of ski boarding is credited to Porter Daughtry (who invented the Skurfer in San Diego, CA) Jimmy Redmond (Austin, TX) later drilled holes in skurfers to affix bindings. The term "wakeboard" was coined by Porter Daughtry (Brooks, GA), as well as the concept and design, along with his brother Murray and a Pro snowboarder they sponsored. Paul approached Herb O'Brien with the idea and the introduction of the "liquid force" wakeboard, named by Eric "The Flyin Hawaiian" Perez, laid the groundwork for evolution of the wakeboard throughout the 1990s.

The World Skiboard Association was founded in 1989 and the First World Skiboard Championships was held on the Island of Kauai, Hawaii, on the Wailua River. The next year Eric Perez defended his title against Darin Shapiro. This is when the Hyperlite wakeboard was introduced and blew everyone away. The first US Nationals were held later that same year in Colorado Springs, CO on Prospect lake, hosted by Tommy Phillips. Competitions began popping up around the United States throughout the early 1990s. Wakeboarding was added as a competitive sport in the X Games II. The World Skiboard Association "changed its focus" and was re-named the World Wakeboard Association.

 Wakeboarding maneuvers

As with many freestyle sports such as snowboarding and surfing, there is almost a separate language of terms to describe various tricks. The more height, the more "pop". So therefore the rider's edge is very important to the height of the jump. Heading towards the wake chest facing the boat is known as a heelside edge; approaching from the other direction with chest facing away from the boat is known as toeside edge. A typical beginner to intermediate rider will tend to have an easier time hitting the wake heelside because it tends to come more naturally to the rider, while more advance riders can hit the wake both heelside as well as toeside.

 Surface Tricks

Surface tricks are tricks that are performed when the rider is not airborne. Examples are:

• Backside Butterslide- Rider turns the board backside 90 degrees and grinds the wake.
• Backside Butterslide 180- Rider turns the board backside 90 degrees and grinds the wake. Rider then grabs the handle with opposite hand and does another 90 degree turn in the same direction.
• Backside Start- Rider gets up in a backside position where the backside is facing the boat.
• Body Slide- Rider lies back onto the water.
• Butterslide- Rider turns the board frontside 90 degrees and grinds the wake.
• Butterslide 180- Same as regular butterslide but with an additional 90 degree rotation in the same direction.
• No-Hander- Rider puts handle between knees, then lets go with both hands.
• Nothing Butterslide- Rider puts handle between knees while in a butterslide.
• Perez- Rider carves outside of the wake and slides into a surface 360.
• Potato Peeler- Body Slide with fin release.
• Powerslide- Board is turned backside 90 degrees in the flats. Fins are broken loose. If done correctly, it creates a huge spray.
• Surf Carve- Rider cuts back and forth in the wake in a surf-carving fashion.
• Surface 180- A 180 degree turn on the surface of the water.
• Surface 360- A 360 degree turn on the surface of the water.
• Tumble Turn- Rider lays back on water, board is taken out of water and above the head, body is spun around backside and the rider stands back up onto feet.

 Spins

A spin is done by rotating the board around, like snowboarding. These spins are:

• 180
• 360
• 540
• 720- First landed by Scott Byerly
• 900- First landed by Darin Shapiro
• 1080- First landed by Parks Bonifay

Another spin trick is the 009, which was invented by Matt Simms. This is a toeside Osmosis 540 followed by an Ole (Overhead) 360.

 Spin Terminology

• Backside- A spin where the rider rotates with the back of their body towards the boat first. Many times mistakenly referred to as blindside spins. First done by Colin Wright.
• Baller- This is a term used for when a rider does the handle pass of their spin by passing the handle between their legs. Invented by Parks and Shane Bonifay.
• Flatline Spin- A spin where the rider goes over the rope instead of passing the handle.
• Frontside- A spin where the rider rotates with the front of their body towards the boat first.
• Off-Axis- When a rider does a spin but goes off the vertical axis so the board usually gets up to shoulder level or above. Invented by Marshall Harrington. Also called "Monkey" and "Corked" spins. Shawn Watson was the first rider to land an Off-Axis 900.
• Osmosis- When the rider performs a spin by tossing the handle from one hand to the same hand again, bypassing the other hand. Invented by Shaun Murray.
• Rewind- A spin where the rider does a shifty one way, then back the other, then spins back in the direction of their initial shifty.
• Shifty- Board is shifted 90 degrees in one direction and then shifted back in the opposite direction. Gregg Necrason was the first rider to land a shifty 540.
• To Blind- The rider lands with the rope wrapped around their back instead of passing the handle.
• Wrapped- When the rider has the rope wrapped around their back when riding they are going to perform a wrapped trick. It allows a rider to spin without doing a handle pass. It also allows the rider to perform unique grabs that usually cannot be done when passing the handle.

                               HEELSIDE FRONTFLIP

    The heelside front flip is a true cartwheel style front flip. The majority of riders seem most confident learning inverted tricks by beginning with the back roll, followed by the tantrum, as the next most common choice. However, for certain boarders the cartwheel action of the front flip will seem like the natural invert to start with. It's a good idea to think of all your basic inverts as stepping stones to more advanced tricks built on the basic one. In the case of the front flip, you can look forward to trying moves like a slob front, a switch front

and, some day adding a mobius to turn it into a fat chance. In the meanwhile let's get this basic front flip dialled.

 The steps
Start from 15 to 20 feet out from the wake and slowly roll your board on to its edge.

With most of your weight on your back foot, edge progressively harder all the way to the top of the wake.
 

Be sure to keep your elbows in, with the handle low, and close to your hips.
 

Once your board is off the wake, think about initiating the flip by placing the leading side of your head onto your leading shoulder. This tends to create a clean cartwheel, keeping your shoulders square to the boat.
 

Another approach, straightening your back leg and pulling up your front knee while pushing your chest toward it, can also get the rotation started. If this works better for you, make a point of looking down the line, at the boat, as you lift your knee up. This will help keep your shoulders square and the rotation going in the right direction.
 

Remember to keep your eyes open, elbows in, and handle low through the entire rotation.
 

Since you tend to see the water later on this trick, keep your eyes open and be aware of the horizon. This, along with some well-bent knees, will help you get ready for the landing.
 

Once you sense your board is almost parallel with the water soften your knees to absorb the landing.
 

Make sure your path continues away from the wake and that you're looking in that direction on the landing.
 

Oops #1: Not enough pop or height generated off the wake.
Fix:: Keep your board solidly on edge, weight on your back foot, to the crest of the wake.
 

Oops #2: Coming forward or rolling into the boat as you initiate the rotation.
Fix: Initiate the rotation by placing the leading side of your head onto your leading shoulder. Keep the handle in the same position throughout the trick and avoid pulling in as you start to rotate.
 

Oops #3: Going over the front of the board on landings (over rotating).
Fix: Keep your eyes open and on the horizon through your rotation. If still struggling let go with your back hand as you land but be sure you learn to do it two handed as well.
 

INDY

On Water
STEP 1 Do a nice progressive heelside carve toward the wake, building intensity all the way to the crest of the wake, as you would for a very large two-wake air. Make sure you maintain solid body position, head up looking in the direction you're going, knees strong and slightly bent, handle in and down on your leading hip.

STEP 2 Keep the board on its edge, both hands on the handle, with your knees bent but solid, until you come off the top of the first wake.

STEP 3 Use your knees to lift the board up to your body, gently release your back hand from the handle, let it almost fall down between your knees to grab the toeside of the board, between your feet.

STEP 4 On your first attempts it's okay to just touch the board between your feet but keep trying to hold the grab longer and longer as you get more confident with it. Be sure to keep looking in the direction you're going as you grab, and avoid looking down to see your board.

STEP 5 Return your back hand to the handle, make sure your head's up looking where you're going, stretch your knees back out and soften them a bit for the landing. With the Indi dialled you can try all sort of grabs like the Stalefish, Nuclear, or Mute.

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